She smiled, and gave me a slow, soft kiss on the cheek, then put both arms around my neck. After a few minutes of angling our bodies in an effort to g...t more comfort – yet not, to be sexual ( now THAT wasn't easy ), she said, "Do you want to try TV now?" I nodded "that's a good idea" ... but in the next few minutes, we discovered all the craziness of that afternoon, with the solemn services and the funeral march (and ... those unforgettable Drums), but also the unbelievable shooting in Dallas.. "You know, I could blow you up to that sizetoo..." She smiled wickedly, but amused. More so, when I grew beet red."No, thank you, Ma'am! I am just fine the way I am!" I made a littlecurtsey and smiled back still glowing like the proverbial roasted apple.Babs joint into our laughter.Suddenly she grew silent and serious. "What's wrong, hon?" Louise asked,before I could. Babs rolled her eyes as if looking for the right wordswhile pushing back some tears. "You know, if I ... I wasn't .... . , “ I shivered as we reached the CS offices and were directed to the holding cells for the concubine pool.“We have the newest ones, of course, if you prefer, though we’d rather you at least considered the ones who’ve been here longest. If they don’t get selected soon, they’ll have to be recycled, of course,” Centurion Thomas Wilde informed us, his expression one of rather intense impatience.I got the impression that he was always like that ... that must suck to be under his thumb constantly. I saw them kiss and Ifreaked. I don't know what came over me. I'm so ashamed. I had no rightto be jealous. He doesn't owe me a thing. Now if only I could get Danielto understand that I just panicked. So many feelings, so many emotions,I ran away.I'm 27 and I've never felt like this. I've been hurt once or twice butthis ... this is different. I feel like I'm falling, endlessly falling.I crave him so bad. How did this happen? I need him so much. I feelawful. I can't eat, can't sleep. I cry. I.
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