I love you.’ I had to keep repeating it as if to make me believe myself. I hugged her and pulled her body to mine. ‘Things are different now, Jane.... When I hug you I know another man has done that also. When I kiss you, I know your lips don’t belong exclusively to me. I was afraid of this. I feared I would feel this way. I’m sorry but I can’t undo what has happened. I love you Janet. I always will but things are different now. I can no longer claim you are mine and only mine.’ She just hugged. Maine kaha,” Blouse khol de na”Jeera,”nahi koi aa jayega”Mai, ” are Pagli koi nahi aayega, phir aise maza poora nahi aayega, dekh main tujhse pyar karunga, tu bhi mujhse karegi?”Jeera,” haan karoongi”Main,’ Toone pehle kisi se pyar kiya hai”Jeera,” Nahi”, Par mere Baap ko meri Sauteli maa ke saath pyar karte dekha hai”Baton baton main uska blosue utar diya aur uski choochiyon ko jumke choosa, choochiyan kafi sakth thi dabane mein maza aaraha tah ,unpe abhi nipples nahi bane the phir bhi mein. And while I didn't drink, it was more by choice than by any attitudes deeming the practice either sinful or demeaning. This was more a debate as to why I was going in. Boredom didn't seem to be enough of an excuse. A hope? If so, of what? I wasn't ready to examine that question too closely yet... But, in I went anyway. Once inside, I looked around and decided to go to the end of the bar farthest from the door. I figured that would be the best place to watch. Watch what? Again, I shrugged that. . but it is your mind that I admire.”Shit! I thought. My mind! “And I thought it was my body.”“Yeah, well that’s okay too, but it’s your mind that gonna get this paper done, not your ... um ... body.”I smiled at her, secretly pleased, knowing that the paper was done already! It was nothing ... a piece of cake ... a walk in the park and I’d finished it (mostly to get it out of the way) the first week end it had been assigned. It’d be easy to share it with Jenny, for we’d been encouraged to work.
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