Mostly, she hated her job, but she was having a hard time finding a new one.Her complaint about me wasn’t how I treated her. She seemed very happy a...out the love and respect I always showed to her. She even loved how sexually playful I am, including my free and easy and relaxed sexual banter.No, her complaint was that my cock is just too damned big! Not to boast, but it’s nine inches long, and nearly as big around as a soda can.She complained that even though I was slow and gentle when entering. My wet, red, inner lips are protruding now, clasping at my fingers as they fly along the dew-covered slit between them, coating my frantic fingers with more and more slick juice to lick and suck from them. One hand leaves my throbbing breast, flows over my quivering belly to flutter over my pumping mound. Fingertips begin lightly grazing across my sensitive clit. They dip downward to collect gushing juices and then return to caress the hot little button of flesh. Lightly at first, suddenly. Any relation to Mercedes Benz?"Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close"Businessman: "How close?"Flight Attendant: "Same price"Absolutely clever and oddly truthful this ought to take some of the curse out of it.THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color. I could feel my blood boiling as I got of my SUV and walked over to the bed to survey the damage. Judging by the direction of the tire tracks, I knew the vehicle had to come from one direction, the neighbor’s house to the west of my house. This meant it more than likely had to be one person, an assumption that was confirmed when the car pulled in their driveway, and stopped just far enough away that I was able to still see the mangled heads of my beloved yellow daisies and purple coneflowers.
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