Oh, my God. I can’t believe I wrote that and meant it. I also love that mirror, and I just realized I got naked without thinking about it when I got...home today. Do I really enjoy going nude?Sunday, February 1st, 1987-10:00 am-My sister caught me yesterday while I was naked in my room playing with my nipples. I must have looked scared to death when she asked me what I was doing. She’s only in eighth grade and already wears the same size bra I do. We are complete opposites Jane and I. She’s. She dates the athletes and popular boys with money. And fuck, we haven’t any luck with any other girls either.”Derek chimed in, also slurring his words, saying, “That’s all true, Tom, but if you don’t mind me saying so, your wife’s got Bethany beat all to hell. Jeff and I just love it when she stops by our meetings. I mean, shit, man, I’m fucking jealous. You’ve got a beautiful woman like that whenever you want.”I knew that Derek wouldn’t have said those things if he wasn’t drunk, and I saw it. I joinedthe library, found a small, unpretentious gym and counted myselfrelatively content.Despite the boobs and curls, child-bearing hips and menstrual lows, Ikept facing forwards and made sure that all visitors, police personneland staff who came past my desk were met with a smile. Some evenings Iwanted to scream and stab my tits, hack off my hair and weep with whathad been done to me, but such rage and despair came more and moreinfrequently.Some nights Mark Kennedy haunted my dreams, he left. Because of a truck in front him he could only see the vehicles on the outside lane going in his direction when his eyes caught about a quarter of a mile in front of him a car in the outside lane swerve and go off the side of the road and go down the embankment. Joe pulled over to side of the road to see if he could help.By luck or the skill of the driver the car didn't flip but came to stop mired in some mud. Scrambling down the side of the embankment he saw that the driver's airbag had.
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