. who am I ... talking to?" I tried to ask. Instead it came out "Waa ... wha ma ... taa?" Don't talk, Alex. It makes it bleed more. Just lie still til... the ambulance gets here. But, Alex, please don't go. Stay here with us. You can't leave us, you just can't."I again gurgled a bit and could hear a wet sound I assumed was due to the bleeding.'Tell her I'm not going, ' I sent out to no one in particular. 'Hurt too damn much ... to go anywhere.' I didn't know if it would ever get to her, but at. Not that I was all thatsocial anyway. I had a, uhm, rich private life. My day job was anadmin assistant, shuffling files from one place to another in dustyarchives. After work, in the privacy of my off-base apartment, Ibecame Jess. And maybe I should start there.My real name is Jesse, or I should say, one of my real names. I havealways had very vivid, and often lucid dreams, and in many of thesedreams I would be female as often as male. I never thought much aboutit, and even enjoyed some pretty. So I went and got the saddle soap and clean rags from the rag bin and went into where it was, and leaning over a bit to get to it I began to put saddle soap all over the leather thing, but something seemed strange about it Patti, because there were long gouge marks all over the sides mostly, but some here and there on the top of it.It was so hard to use the saddle soap to get it shiny clean like a saddle. But I did as best I could to get it as shiny as I could, and over each end of that barrel. And, as he had said, he wasn't there much anyways. Heusually stayed at his girlfriends place. They were moving in togetherat the end of the summer and he just wanted somewhere to crash once ina while. His old place he had to move out of because he couldn't affordit anymore.About my personal life, I didn't have much of one. I dated rarelymainly because I just didn't have the time between school and work. Iwas in decent shape although a bit on the shorter side and not ugly butnot handsome, kind.
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