Excited? Beyond all reason. The butterflies fluttered and my heart raced and I felt the beginnings of my erection pulse and swell. ‘Well?’ she ask...d. ‘I’ll stay, please.’ She likes when I say please. I lifted my eyes to see her smile. ‘Good,’ she said. ‘I’m glad. You know I love you.’ And there it was. Her love for me, as undying and eternal as mine for her. A love so deep I could never stand to leave. So much has changed these five years since our honeymoon. We’ve grown into our relationship. I sat silent after hearing those words and I became more nervous about what he could have planned for me and wondered what else he had that would be so helpful as he put it. I heard him sit down in one of the other chairs and began to hear him snore. I tried pulling and struggling in the tape as he snored. I tried to reach my wrists with my teeth to bite through the tape. After some effort and little success of getting the tape off I sat in the chair in silence. Suddenly I felt something. I’m sure it was toward happier times before her husband’s death. ‘Let me guess,’ I interjected to soften the mood, ‘she doesn’t want to be seen with her mom anymore in public, she’s gone all the time ‘out with friends’, and she has mood swings that make you feel like you’re on a roller coaster.’ At that Jill smiled and gave me a knowing look. ‘You’ve been there I take it?’ She asked. ‘Yeah, our son just turned 20 and he decided to go to college in Kansas City, far away from his bickering. The disbelief on her face mixed with wanton desire. He understood in that moment how much they had lost. How they had squandered themselves on other people. He thinking her shyness meant she was uninterested, and her thinking his aloofness was less self-defense than it was unattraction. Her nose, she had said, was too large for her face, yet he had always thought it to be a centerpiece of her unique beauty. Her skin so pale that even mild sunlight would turn it red. Him with his awkwardness,.
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