“So you want to be with me?” I asked hopefully. “Yeah, I do.” He said, kissing me deeply. ** For the next three hours, we wandered around my y...rd, playing with my younger cousins, talking to my family, and just killing time until everyone left. Once everyone was gone or had gone into the house to go to bed, Kevin and I were finally alone. We settled into a blanket on the grass in the backyard, out of the view of the windows on the back side of the house. “So, now what?” I asked. “What do you. Iunderstand that now. Help me, Daddy, to become the sissy that I wasalways meant to be.Step FourIt takes real courage to look at yourself and your life with completehonesty. Can you find the courage do that, sissy? Can you review yourpast behavior without rationalizations and excuses, without throwing theblame for your own shortcomings as a man onto others?This is an essential step in the healing process.It is not enough simply to admit that there is a problem; you mustaccept the fact that you. One day James asked me to help him move some shit out of his garage. I accepted and met him a day later at his house. We moved all this junk out of the garage into the back of his truck, which took about an hour. It was pretty hot out and we were both sweating. "Come here, I want to show you something" I followed him into his backyard, which had a pool and was very private, owing to the tall hedges all the way around. "What did you want to show me?" I asked. "Oh, I just needed to take a piss. I found this to be as sane an idea as everything else I'd heard of late and wished him good luck.He and Maggie hung together like always, that week, and in spite of knowing what I knew, I was still envious and felt a bit sorry for myself, which I wasn't the least bit pleased with. I mean, I had her all to myself at night and I was the one to whom she gave all of herself. I lectured myself for being silly and tried to focus on doing my thing with Megan, who was so much like her cousin Amy, I was.
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