."Mrs. Coltraine, let me help with those," I said grabbing a couple of the grocery bags she was unloading from her car."Why, thank you. Let's see, it'... Darin isn't it? Darin Taylor?" Yes, ma'am." Oh, please, don't call me ma'am. Let's make it Monica. Ma'am makes me sound like an old woman," she laughed."No, not so old," I said, "but every inch a woman." Hmmmm," she smiled in return, "and not a boy either. Sounds like you're learned a lot about women already." Enough," I shot back."I'll just bet. There was nothing I wanted more. But could it, would it work? Miles apart, age gap – only eight years – and basically having different lives. If I said yes, what would change? What would he expect? Holding hands, kissing? I felt him move. Just as I opened my mouth to reply his phone rang.“Damn,” he swore, let go of my jaw and got up. I opened my eyes again. Save for now.“Yeah?” he answered briefly, listened. “No, I'm fine.” Looking at him I was wondering who that could be. His whole pose was. Shattuck. Right away.” She picked up the phone and began going through a Rolo-dex for some numbers. I don’t know why I did it, but I really needed a job. I used my best deep-voiced baritone Santa imitation and bellowed, “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.” The lady in the suit, Mrs. Shattuck, spun around and looked at me, as if noticing me for the first time. She looked around me to see if there was anyone else in the room. There was not. She looked up at me and said, “Do that again, young man.” I. But it was signing my name that gave me a little thrill. Each time it wasan acknowledgement, an acceptance, another brick in the wall, anotherstep along the way, leaving the past behind. I AM Sissy. I am A sissy.This is me. Sissy Manhood personified.I was pretty exhausted by the time I got home that evening. My wife hadtaken pity on me and given me a lift home. We had stopped on the way topick up a takeaway meal. She told me that as it was my first day, I couldremove the butt plug straight.
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