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” I shook my head, “Me either.” All eyes turned to our last companion who paused just long enough to let us know her answer. “Oh you bitch, yo... didn't!” “Maybe you should try first before you say that.” Once more laughter broke out as her broad smile danced across her face. The last of the wine now poured, the empty bottle was left to the side as someone made a comment about the hour and we sipped our wine while plans for the next day were discussed by the group. Well, most of the group as I. She stuttered, sighed, and took a breath, trying to compose herself.“It was confusing,” she said. “I felt so small, and missed being, um--”“You wanted me to cuddle you, did you?”She nodded.“Small, huh?” I said. “So you didn’t like it?” I suspected she had.“Uh, not ... exactly?” My hands drew another moan from her. “Gods, that’s distracting ... no, please, go on...” I laughed. “It’s how you said. I felt small, and humble, but it also felt ... good, right, like it was my place, and I belonged. When I get really high I can crash very suddenly, and after Ron left I told myself sternly I wasn't going to crash this time the way I did the week before. I managed to keep myself going by writing. I wrote long letters to my parents and my sister; to Ron's parents and to Pete. Pete's letters were hard, because I wasn't sure whether his mother might see them, but I tried to hint at our feelings without coming out and saying anything. He and I had sort of developed a code language we could use. "If you don't mind, we want you tohave dinner with us." Well, that is kind of you," said Judy. "I was going to get some chips onthe way home, but if you're offering. Of course I'll stay for dinner."So, Judy stayed for dinner as hoped and they all sat around the kitchentable to eat."Well, my husband, children and I would like to thank you for the help youhave provided in these last few months of my pregnancy," said Liz. "Idon't know what we would have done without you." It's been my pleasure,".
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