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Johara collapsed on me. I held her while the two of us recovered. Johara said to me, "You were fantastic, sweetie. Do you want to spend the night?" Su...e, I'd like that," I answered. I climbed out of bed, deposited the used condom in the trash and rejoined Johara. We spooned together. Our sexual marathon had drained me. I fell asleep immediately.In the shadowy state between sleep and consciousness, I found myself cuddled with my lover. My hand was resting on something soft and warm. I squeezed.. My brain had been wired differently in the womb than most people's, my subconscious mind operated under the assumption that I was inherently unlovable and intrinsically without value despite how much work I'd done on myself, no matter how many rituals I'd performed, regardless of how many pages I'd written in my journal or affirmations I'd recited in the mirror, even in spite of how wonderful I believed myself to be in my heart. I'd taken tremendous strides toward healing and I had shown marked. Her behind was that of a model’s, round and perfect. If I didn’t contain myself I would’ve dropped down to my knees and praised its regal beauty. Even though the drive to the theatre was short it seemed like hours. I tried to relax myself by turning on the radio. Reba McEntire’s version of ‘On My Own’ came on. I didn’t expect Savannah to know the song. She had a voice like an angel, like a mix of Phyllis Hyman and Gloria Estafan. This made me more nervous as I tried harder not to screw up. . You had a call while you were in the bathroom." Who called?" Your father." Really. What did he have to say?" He said he wanted to wish you a happy birthday and that he didn't call yesterday because he didn't want to interrupt anything. He was also wondering if you were upset with him because he changed the locks." Is he going to call back?" He was on the way in to the hospital and said he'd try you later on." Did he say anything about him and Wanda?" No, he actually got quiet when I told him.
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